Welcome to the first blog of #TheSecretJournal
Where to begin? I have wanted to set up a blog for a number of years now but always felt a bit anxious at the thought of writing something that others will read and probably judge me for. (Typing this now is making my hands a bit clammy!) But the thought of me being anonymous gave me the little kick that I needed to get started - Because who knows it's me?
Even though I would like to remain anonymous for the foreseeable future, I feel like I want to tell you a little bit about me and why I have set up #TheSecretJournal so you don't think I'm just a computer bot with nothing better to do :)
I am the type of person who has always struggled opening up, whether that be with my friends, family or in relationships. You have those people who love to talk about themselves and their feelings, well unfortunately that just isn't me and I wish I could be more like that. I envy people who have the ability to do that. That said, people who know me whether that be from school, college or even in my working life would probably tell you different. They'd probably say I am 'very chatty', 'out going', 'sociable' and even though I like to believe those things about me are true to an extent, I think I am very good at acting confident rather than truly being it inside.
Like many people these days I do suffer secretly with anxiety and even though the world is becoming more open in regards to the awareness of mental health issues and it is now less frowned upon, this is still a side of me I like to keep private and to myself as best as I can. That's not because I don't want to ask for help (or maybe it is), I don't want people to think or see me any differently. Silly I know, because the people who love me wouldn't at all but it's all in the mind and that is to be worked on, which I can do.
But it's not all doom and gloom, irrespective of my anxiety I do enjoy my life and that's never been in question. I have a loving and supportive family and friend network, a lovely boyfriend which I share our home with and a great job - All things I hope to discuss in my future blogs, that's if I don't panic to much about posting this one!
So where will this blog will take you and I?
Right now, I don't have the answer to that question but all I can hope for to start off with is to become more confident in myself, to be able to be more expressive and open with those around me and be less nervous! Who knows, I might even help one person that reads this too - that would be amazing!
Thank you for reading blog No.1 of #TheSecretJournal and I hope you come back for more :)
Love always,
X
I find writing helps me open up to my inner self and face reality with a more conscious and aware mindset. I love that you are getting into writing with the same hopes I had and with a passion for sharing your experiences in the hopes they help other people.